Slot John Doe — Game Review
PlayStation 2 System Review
You waited in line, perhaps even overnight, to get a system that you pre-ordered in the winter time. Maybe you were lucky enough to get your hands on one, and maybe you weren’t. We’ve all heard the hype; but I am proud to say that although I looked forward to and welcomed the arrival of the PS2, I didn’t let my emotions get away on me. I wanted to clear my head of all of the propaganda and rose colored mis-information that was being tossed around concerning how wonderful life was going to be with a PS2 and how terrible it would be without one. Is the PS2 all it’s cracked up to be? Come on, you know you want to know that. Even if you are sitting at home, playing your PS2, admit it: You need to know that everything is alright in the world and that you made the right decision by selling enough blood to buy this latest gadget. Well, you had better sit down because I’m not going to handle this delicately. The people have a right to know whether the PS2 is worth sleepless nights over and panicky thoughts of «Will I get one for Christmas?»
- DVD, CD, PSX & PS2 Sleek Looking Stands Vertical or Horizontal All This For $299?
- Software is Hit & Miss Only 2 Control Ports No Pack-In Demos No Extras Hefty Priced Peripherals Defective PS2 Units Confirmed by Sony
It’s no secret that Sony screwed up the launch. Whether you believe that they really did have a shortage of 500,000 PS2 units or whether you believe the conspiracy theory (Sony has the units and is trying to create demand and hype), two things are certain. 1) Sony succeeded in creating hype beyond anything like Tickle Me Elmo, 2) If you don’t have a PS2 now, you won’t be getting one anytime soon, unless you have copious amounts of cashola. And no Virginia, Santa Claus won’t be bringing you one for Christmas, because he put all of his PS2 units on eBay.
To be honest with you dear reader, and if you are a regular reader of my material you know that I am not afraid to be honest. For example, I told you of how I cried as a child when I took my first shot with a shotgun, when the recoil knocked me to the ground, I gave you all of the sordid details of how I planned my little Mario Party with my idiot friends; in short, I tell it like it is, whether I look like a moron or not. The PS2’s arrival did not excite me as much as other systems in the past. And I know why. This past May, I spent the best part of 3 days in LA playing all of the latest PS2 games. In truth, I did not play one game that made me say, «I must have this system to play this game.» Sorry, but that’s the truth. I can tell you though that upcoming Dreamcast titles like Jet Grind Radio, NFL2K1, Shen Mue, Sonic 2 and Seaman got me hyped, but nothing on the PS2 did it for me. Now don’t get me wrong, I love my PSX as much as the next guy, but the PS2 really proved nothing to me.
Let us take an honest look at this exciting new gaming console. As you know, I won’t spare it’s feelings nor will I ignore it’s achievements.
The PS2 Package
When you open the PS2 box, you will find a PS2, a Dual Shock 2 Controller and the necessary hookups. You will not find a game, or even a demo disk. That would have been too nice a gesture for plunking down mucho donero. You won’t find an 8 MB Memory Card either. That’ll set you back close to $35 in the US. You heard me. $35.00 for a memory card! As I live in Canada, my Memory Card set me back almost $60 after all of the taxes. The bundle packs of extra controllers, memory card and multi-tap that Sony mentioned at their Press Conference that was to retail for $35 US was clearly BS. Thanks for nothing, liars. Needless to say, buying the PS2 system, 1 game, an extra controller and a memory card, will set you back a pretty penny, even if you buy it at retail. If you are buying on eBay, you better have ID in your wallet that has the name Bill Gates on it.
The PS2 Machine
This is a nice looking piece of home equipment. It looks thin and sleek, especially if placed in the vertical setting. It looks like part of a home stereo and that was no accident on Sony’s part. They wanted to elevate the PS2 from child’s toy to necessary home device, and what better way to make sales then to have both child and parent (mostly father perhaps) clamoring for the same item? When was the last time your mom or dad wanted the same thing you wanted for Christmas? I rest my case. The biggest disappointment is the lack of 4 controller slots. That was just plain cheap on Sony’s part, forcing us to buy a multi-tap unit for another $35. They could have installed two more ports and charged us an extra $20, who cares? On a really, really bad note, we’ve been hearing from people who have bought defective PS2 units, that break after a short period of time. If waiting in line or paying scads of cash on eBay wasn’t bad enough, now you get stuck with a defective model. Sony is making the Sega Saturn launch look like a success in comparison. If you do have a defective PS2, Sony says it will be awhile before you get another one. That’s gotta hurt.
The PS2 DVD Ability
This is one of the PS2’s biggest selling features. A lot of people look at the PS2 as a Sony DVD and CD player, that plays PSX games and is also the most powerful gaming system available. To them it’s DVD first and the extras later. That’s cool. I did not purchase a DVD player for the last year and a half because I knew the PS2 would have DVD capability. I have been taking advantage of the fact and have rented a few DVD’s with my wife. She doesn’t care about all of the extras that come on DVD’s now. That confuses the little woman. Personally, I love it. Give me more of anything and I’ll take it, and if you’ve seen the size of my pants lately, that includes taking more pie. People were complaining about using the Dual Shock 2 as a «remote» for the DVD. Personally, it works great to me, and I can’t understand what the fuss is about. I didn’t even read the manual, nor had I ever used a DVD player before. You might say, «But John, you are the smartest man in the universe, of course YOU could figure it out.» Well, thanks for the compliments, although I think you are exaggerating a tad. But seriously, I am a big dummy. Come on, I’m a game reviewer for goodness sake! I’m lucky if I can figure out how to open a bag of Doritos, never mind a DVD player. The controller works just fine. Don’t be rushing out to buy another remote. Besides Interact screwed up their remote somehow. I didn’t read the release. Sorry I can’t be of more help. The DVD features all of the functions you would find on a stand alone DVD player. At least, I think it does. Remember, I’ve never used a DVD before. You can pause, fast forward, select different camera angles (if the movie supports this feature), run ahead by chapters, select various languages; the whole nine yards.
The PS2 CD Player
Unless your PS2 is hooked directly into a home theater system or some other form of audio enhancement, your enjoyment of the CD function will be directly proportionate to the quality of your stereo. I’ve run into a few problems with it recognizing burnt audio CD’s, but for the most part, it functions well. I didn’t buy the PS2 for this feature as everything these days comes with a CD player. My pants have a CD player built into them. Seriously. I wonder if it’s okay to have a laser so close to my, uh, let’s change the subject. OW! Bad idea! Bad idea!
The PS2 Software Library
PS2 launch titles are a mixed bag. Some games are great, some are average and some suck. That’s the problem with wanting a lot of software available at launch; some projects get rushed. As our review section on CCC, goes into more depth concerning the quality of the software, stop there and peruse until grumpy old Dave chases you away, telling you CCC is not a lending library. I will say this, the PS2 will be a great gaming system, eventually, but it isn’t one at this point in time.
The PS2 Peripherals
Since you only get one Dual Shock, you’ll have to buy another if you want to play two player games. Want to play 4 play or more? You’ll have to buy the Multi-Tap and more controllers. Want to save your game? You’ll have to buy the PS2 Memory Card. Now it does have 8 MB, which is the same amount of RAM my computer had in 1993. Scary. Want your PS2 to stand up vertically? You’ll have to buy the Vertical Stand? Hook up to S-Video? You know the drill. Of course we know everything is extra in this day and age, and that is simply to keep the initial cost of the unit down. That way everyone thinks that they’ll be getting a PS2 for $299. Which they are. Now if they actually want to do anything useful with that thing, they’ll have to shell out at least another $100+. That $299 suddenly turns into much more and if you are Canadian, turns into your paycheck plus whatever Big Tony okays you on loan.
A lot of people have asked me why Sony didn’t change the controller. Well, they did slightly. They made the buttons analog, which means that pressure applied to the buttons will have different effects in games that take advantage of this feature. Does it affect gameplay at all? No. It doesn’t feel any different. As for not changing the design, I think it’s clear that Sony thinks that the Dual Shock was indeed a great tool, so why screw with it? I tend to agree. The Dual Shock controller for PSX was the best joystick ever made for a console. It’s small, sleek and allows multiple gameplay options. I’m glad to see it’s return on this system.
Many people, including myself, almost passed out when I found out how much the memory cards were. The fact that they are 8 MB is certainly handy, meaning you won’t be needing to buy another for probably quite awhile. This in effect, diminishes the sale of third party memory cards as Sony’s 8 MB card will last you. Of course that doesn’t stop third party developers from bringing out a cheaper 8 MB card. So the process continues anyway. For those who don’t know, the PSX card will work in the PS2, but only for PSX games, and vice versa.
The PSX Gameplay Feature
The other big selling feature of the PS2 is backward compatibility with older PSX titles. This function clinched the deal in many parents’ mind. Knowing they don’t have to relegate already owned PSX titles to the garage sale box, makes parents more heartily accept the transition from one system to the other. Not only does the PS2 play the current library of titles on the PlayStation, but it also helps speed up load times and smoothes out textures, making older games look much nicer. These features must be turned on at the System screen. Personally, I love this feature almost more than playing the new PS2 games. If you throw on a graphically amazing PSX title like R Type 4 or Soul Reaver, you’ll be amazed at how good those PSX games can appear. R Type 4 (Ridge Racer 4) looked beautiful and considering the game plays a million times better then Ridge Racer V for the PS2, it’s a real treat!
For those people out there who are either horrifyingly optimistic or horrifyingly dumb, the original PlayStation or the current PSone, WILL NOT PLAY PS2 GAMES. I REPEAT: IT WILL NOT PLAY PS2 GAMES! THE PS2 WILL PLAY PSX GAMES BUT NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND. We get people e-mailing us questions like this and it really just serves to further diminish my opinion of the evolution of the human race. I’m sorry, but asking if the PlayStation will play PS2 games is perhaps the stupidest question I’ve ever been asked, next to, «Are you okay?» after I fell 30 feet from a ladder and landed on my face. I hope I cleared up this little confusion in my usual tactful and polite way.
Final Thoughts on the PS2
I cannot fault Sony for attempting to make the PS2 all things to all people. It’s great that it’s a DVD, CD, PSX and PS2 all rolled into one. Not only that but it performs all of its functions expertly and intuitively for the most part. The PS2 software is hit and miss and in my opinion, cannot compare to what the Dreamcast is offering right now. If you didn’t get a PS2, you know that you won’t be getting one for awhile. Wal-Mart is forecasting March or April for people who aren’t on the «list». That sucks. Sony should be really taken to task for either screwing up this launch, or pretending that there is a shortage. In that sense, it’s wonderful that I have a PS2 and no longer have to wait in uncertainty as to whether I will be a part of the «in-club» at school or work that own one. Personally I couldn’t care less. I need a PS2 because of my job right now. If I didn’t, I can tell you in all honesty, I wouldn’t have went out of my way to buy one at this point in time. And for me to say that, is strange, as I have chomped at the bit to get almost every launch system on day one (excluding Sega CD, Virtual Boy, Atari Jaguar and 3DO. It seems I have a knack for guessing crap systems). Is this a sign that the PS2 will tank because John Doe doesn’t really want one? Yes. No, wait I’m just kidding. All I’m saying is «Don’t panic». You really aren’t missing anything at this point. Sit back and relax. There is no reason to spend a zillion dollars trying to get this system. You will get one. It may not be tomorrow, but eventually you will get one. That’s how Sony makes money. They sell you a system (that they lose money on) to get you to buy software and peripherals that they do make money on. They want your money, just like Sega and Nintendo and even me, but I haven’t figured out a way to get my hands on it yet, that doesn’t involve busting into your house when you aren’t home. If the money is burning a hole in your pocket, buy a Dreamcast. The games are solid and you’ll find enough software to tide you over. Heck you can even play on-line! By the time PS2’s are plentiful, maybe you’ll have enough saved to buy one! In short, the PS2 is good, but it’s got quite a ways to go before I call it great.
Screen Shot comparisons using PS2 Smooth Textures feature. Look for the smooth road textures in both Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 2 and Driver 2. In the Spider-Man shots, notice how the backgrounds are outlined and the character models are sharper.
Seaman, you have heard a lot about it and maybe have had a taste of it from your friends now get the full scoop. This «pet simulation» is the craziest thing to cross the Pacific Ocean since, well, ever. Think Giga Pets on crack and you will begin to get the idea.
- Highly Original if Demented Concept Interesting Back Story Voice Recognition Neat Spock Narrates! Hilarious Dialogue
- Patience, My Friend, Patience Funky Controls Slow-Down Mars Otherwise Great Graphics Microphone Not the Best
When I went to the store to pick up Seaman, I approached the clerk in a usual manner. He asked me how I was doing and I replied back with a «Fine.» He then proceeded to ask me what I wanted and I said «Seaman.» After a few seconds of silence, everyone else in the store looked at me like I was well you know. I added, «The game, you perverts.» The clerk quickly gave me the game and I was on my way. It’s a true story, no joke.
Anyway, Seaman is the most original game of the year and I’m going to stick to that. For that matter, it’s one of the most original games of all time. Expect to see Sega use this voice technology with future games and even the Internet. It is free with the game and you can hook up any other microphone to the little DC controller hook up, so go out there and buy Seaman.
There is a back-story to all the weirdness and it involves a scientist by the name of Doctor Jean Paul Gasse. Sent to Egypt to study things down there, he discovered a fossil of fish with a man’s face. Eventually, after further probing, Dr. Gasse found some eggs that were identified as being the same species as the fossil he found. Attempting to raise them proved futile as the Seaman died early on. He published his findings on the experiment and was debunked by the scientific community. Your job is to raise Seaman and discover what Dr. Gasse didn’t. The back-story really adds a lot to an otherwise plot less game. For more on the story, visit www.Yoot.com.
The sounds really steal this game. Your Seaman, when they reach adult age, is one of the most wittiest and inquisitive creatures ever. He will constantly prod and poke you with questions. The voice recognition system shows what the Dreamcast can do. Seaman can identify nearly 10,000 words, if you didn’t already know. You can actually have conversations with the demented little things with you doing lots of the talking. I would say that Seaman understands at least 50-60% of what you might say and that is a lot of words. The worst voice-recognization problem I have run into is something. He can interpret is as something else more obscene. Also I was bummed that my Seaman didn’t know what «The Matrix» is but I got over that. His replies are ten times what he can understand and equally as comedic. Seaman is one worldly fish. He will ask you everything from exercise to movies to geography to just about everything else. He even made an allusion to that rich four-eyed guy in Seattle. I am continually amazed that the little fish-man knows that much. I truly believe that my Dreamcast is thinking. The pet seems alive in every way. I worry at night if it’s planning to enslave me. well it’s too late for that but anyway. Leonard Nimoy rocks as the narrator for the game. When you boot up the game, he tells you what might be in store for the day and how your Seaman fared since your last visit. Spock is cool and any game with him in it has got to be cool. ‘Nuff said.
Now when dealing with a human-faced fish, one might figure that it requires lots and lots of work. Well raising Seaman doesn’t. I would estimate that I spend a total of thirty to forty minutes each day with mine. My routine is feeding him then talking to him for about fifteen minute. That’s really all it takes. The things will evolve slowly but surely. I never found the progression of Seaman to be too slow or too fast but I’m sure others would find it boring. One must be patience to raise the cynical fish or all will be lost. His habitat is easy to keep up and his diet is reasonable. The only challenge in raising Seaman is the time it takes for him to evolve. Seaman’s evolution is directly related to how much time you spend with him and how much you talk to him. Thus the game evolves at your pace. The more time you spend with your little pet, the faster he will evolve to his final destiny as the manual puts it. Talking has much to do with it. You cannot just leave your Dreamcast on and hope he will evolve on his own.
The controls are clunky; there is no way around it. I’m sure the programmers were trying to create some sort of parallel to life but it just doesn’t work. It took me a few days to really master the controls and remember what each button did. You are limited to only two views of the aquarium top and one of the larger sides. I know there is some reason behind it but I cannot see it. I think it would be cool to view the aquarium from any perspective but what do I know? I’m just a lowly game reviewer who doesn’t understand these things. The interface of Seaman could have used some tuning in its five years of development.
Overall, Seaman is a revolutionary experience. Most of the other complaints were very minor. The graphics seemed prone to slow down but it doesn’t interfere with fun. The microphone isn’t the best but if you have your own you can easily replace it with a better one. Seaman isn’t for everyone. Two types of people that come to mind are those put off by its weirdness and its slow pace. In the end, it takes time and a little bit of effort but it pays off. Seaman is the most entertaining gaming experience to come along in a while and I highly recommend it. You will laugh yourself silly at what your little fish has to say and you might even learn something in the process.
What do you get a game reviewer that has everything? Well, an army of vampire chipmunks would be a great start, but if that proves to be a little difficult than Seaman is a close second. What is Seaman? A game? A Virtual Pet? He’s a little smart-mouthed S.O.B. that’s what. And he’s smarter than me too. So if he’s smarter than me, you can bet he’s smarter than you, dummy. If you’ve moved this far down the page, you’ve read Ace’s thoughts on Seaman. I was going to relegate his piddly review to the Second Opinion slot, but after reading it, I thought, «Hey, he deserves top spot for this one.» So, I won’t try and reinvent the wheel here, I’ll just cut out � of what I had written for this review and try not to rehash anything that Ace said.
First off let me say that my first Seaman died. I couldn’t get to him in time, and I was doing so good up to that point! Spock even said so! I was feeding it twice a day when it was a Gill-Man, I talked to it, I named it, and he even said my name. Now that freaked me out. My real name is Vaughn (pronounced Von) and when I told him, it actually said it and later said it again. It said it only twice but that was enough to make me sit up and take notice. And then I killed him, by attending to those damn real kids of mine! My boy is almost 17 months old and he can’t even say «Infrastructure» yet. Why am I wasting time with him, when I let Nobby (my Seaman) my oh-so intelligent, yet spite-filled aquatic love child, die? My priorities are all haywire!! I know this now, but it was too late for Nobby. May he rest in peace. And that smug Spock; I bet he couldn’t wait to rub it in. I turn on the DC, knowing full well that I have been away for over 12 hours, but I didn’t expect pointy ears to say» I regret to inform you that Seaman has died.» My heart sank. Why oh why, do the good ones always go first? I’ve got shifty good-for-nothing neighbors around here that are taking up space and breathing air meant for my family, and yet they are still here! Not one of them is half as intelligent as my Nobby was. In fact, when I speak to my neighbors half the time, I’m surprised that there aren’t three question marks that float above their heads when I’m talking. They don’t get me. How do you explain to a guy who just spent 10 hours in a sewer that you get paid to play video games? Is it my fault that I’m not smart enough to get a real job? Oh if only Nobby, my little floating smart ass were here, he’d know the answer.
The answers are the best part of Seaman, thanks to the wise acres at Jellyvision (responsible for You Don’t Know Jack and Millioniare). Sure the interaction is limited and the voice recognition is sketchy sometimes — Nobby asked me how old my daughter was, and when I said 4. He replied «40?» And I told him again, «4 years old» and I spoke nice and slow, and he still didn’t get it. Then he swam away and I never saw him alive again. Once you get used to conversing with this thing on the screen that spews baby talk to you at first, you’ll find yourself amazed at the experience you are having. I would expect a lot of «virtual friend» games to start popping up in the next year. It’s a great idea, especially when your consumer market consists of a sea of loners and socially mal-adjusted psychopaths — and those are the extroverts!!
If you aren’t a clear speaker then you’ll probably have trouble with the voice recognition system. Also, you have to be fairly to the point; rambling on is just going to confuse your Seaman. As your Seaman grows you can start making your sentences a little longer, but if you can’t cut to the chase, expect a frustrating experience. Once that thing starts talking back to you, and I do mean talking back; you’ll be hooked (excuse the delicious pun). The whole experience is amazing from beginning to end. Yes, I did finally get back on that seahorse and raised me another Seaman, although I couldn’t bare to call it Nobby. But now, weird things have been happening around here and I’m beginning to suspect that I’m being haunted by the tortured (and hungry) virtual spirit of Nobby. I didn’t sign on for this Sega! It’s like the home version of Beloved and I’m Oprah for crap sakes! Anyway, Seaman is very cool. It may not buy everyones cup of tea, but it’s a sure fire bet you’ve never had an experience like this before. Highly recommended!
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Mobile version of the game
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You are not going to find any secrets or special winning strategies for the John Doe by Stake Logic slot so don’t waste your time looking. If you want to go for big wins, then you can try increasing your bets at certain times but there is a risk of losing when you do this.
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There is no real bonus feature with this slot, which is the only thing that lets it down. The scatters and wilds do provide the opportunity for large wins though. We are sure that you will find the John Doe by Stake Logic slot fun to play and our review score is 4.7/5.
There are quite a number of mystery slots available. We consider these three slots to be similar to John Doe by Stake Logic:
- Jack Hammer 2 by NetEnt
- Agent Destiny by Play “N” Go
- Agent Jane Blonde Returns by Microgaming
Frequently asked questions
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We recommend that you practice as much as you can with the free demo game here at CasinoRobots.com. It will take a bit of time to master this slot.
(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)